How children communicate
It is important to know that your baby when he cannot speak communicates with you in different ways, you must gradually learn to decode these signals, at the beginning you will make mistakes and it is quite normal nobody is perfect and being a parent is learned day after day.
Babies when they are not talking try to communicate with you in every possible way whether it is by shouting different cries, changing facial expressions, looking for or avoiding your gaze, making different gestures. All this may seem trivial, but they are the only signs of communication they can send you.
WHAT THEY MEAN
It is very difficult at first to know what these signals mean so young parents try all possible solutions to gradually associate the baby's actions with special needs. Whether they want to eat, to be calm, to be in your arms, to have fun, to talk with you, to be changed, etc. There are many possible solutions.
HOW THEY COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER
When a child is very small, he has a repertoire of behaviours but he cannot combine them with each other, which is why he often uses an object to connect with another child in a conversation. As they grow older these objects lose their importance, exchanges become more spontaneous and emotional, which is the first step towards communication.
Later on, he favours one-on-one exchanges rather than in a group, a sign of more mature communication. He controls the messages he sends and understands those he receives. Studies have shown that imitation is very important at this stage, the child imitates to get in touch with another child, the more language is mastered the more useless the imitation will be.
COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN
Growing children tend to feel that the relationships they can develop with adults are either relationships that lead to discussions of acceptance or discussions of altercation and conflict.
Communicating about personal discussions is often difficult for children because they are afraid of judgment, they are constantly seeking parental approval and most important is to make them feel confident when they confide in you, if you don't take them seriously or judge them they won't dare to talk to you because they won't trust you and will see you as a "killjoy". Communication between parents and children in adulthood is not always easy. Often, some remarks that arise from a feeling of love and worry are perceived as aggression. Learn how to rebuild this bond by respecting your child.
The cause of this misunderstanding is often linked to the feeling of love for the child and the fear of seeing him or her make mistakes. The parent therefore feels obliged to say what he or she thinks, to protect the child, even though he or she is an adult who is free to make his or her own decisions. Speech that is perfectly normal for you may seem inappropriate for your adult child. This may make them feel that you do not respect their independence or that you do not believe in their abilities.
Think before you speak: What will be the effect of the words you want to say? Is it really useful, or is it just a way for you to maintain your authority and power within the relationship? Being completely honest is not always the best way to help. Listen first. Then talk as if he is a friend.
You are no longer at the center: When your child was small and dependent, you were the center of his world. But your child has grown up, and things have changed. Some conflicts may arise because of forgetting this reality and assuming that nothing has changed. The need to regain a central place may cause the parent to give unsolicited advice, to criticize constantly, or to forget that the child has grown up and not take into account the changes in his or her life. Take a different perspective: you now have a front row seat to encourage your child.
Take it easy: You feel like shouting at your child that he's making a terrible mistake by getting involved with this person. Think he will perceive your screams and outrage offensively and not in the protective way you think you do. Your message will probably have a better impact if you take a calmer approach. If you feel compelled to give advice, first ask the child if they want to hear it. And if the answer is yes, choose a suggestion that respects your child's point of view.
Abstaining: Some very wise parents are very good at keeping their mouth shut, keeping their fingers crossed that everything will go well for their beloved child. Worrying is a natural feeling, but wanting to interfere in every aspect of another person's life, whether it's their child or not, is not the solution. Every human being has the right to make his or her own mistakes in order to find his or her way.
Learning to apologize: Loving your child also means knowing how to apologize when you go too far. Apologize sincerely. Being a parent does not give you the right to hurt your child for free. Finally, never assume that your child knows that you love or admire him or her. Let your child know that.
Never forget that no one will judge you, no one will blame you if you need time to understand, to act and to rectify your mistakes. The most important thing is to learn, to listen to your child and to try to react in the best way possible to help him/her in his/her life, while keeping a distance from your anxieties.
It takes a lot of time to learn how to react well because we often act on impulse and many things bother us outside our children like work, home etc. that is why you have to be patient.
Little by little you will build up a relationship of trust with your child that will allow you to tell him the truth, warn him without offending him and give him the impression that you are trying to make decisions for him.
If you would like to discuss parenting with people from around the world and see if these tips apply to others you can visit the language exchange section of our site.
Written by: Lisa Lambert; Staff Writer
- 13 Mar, 2020
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