Cultural differences in dating
Relationships between people from different cultures are increasingly common in the face of globalization, as people travel more and are more inclined to go and live abroad.
WHAT ARE THEY
Differences in worldview: Cultures are all different and the relationship of each to certain themes is not always the same, for example there are countries where work is more flexible than in others. Or where the family is more important and takes up more space than in others. Make sure that you have identified all the disparities that separate you and discussed them beforehand so that you don't waste each other's time.
Differences in the vision of the couple: The place of women is still a source of controversy in many discourses and there are still too many countries where unfortunately it is only the extension of the man. On the contrary, some countries have the chance to get closer to gender equality, this can create great misunderstandings between people from opposite cultures. The main thing is to always talk about this kind of subject to make sure that you are on the same wavelength regarding your personal expectations.
Female/male behaviours and their "norms": Sometimes in some countries the man has to make the first step, take things into his own hands to have a date with a woman, however there are also countries where both women and men are enterprising. Sometimes it may be better in the sense that some aspects of your culture may not always appeal to you or even frustrate you and then this will be a good topic of conversation between you.
HOW TO COPE
Be comfortable, forget your preconceptions, what you think you know about this culture, what you have read on the internet, in magazines. Don't let yourself be influenced by the media and the image they portray of other cultures.
Instead, ask questions. This will show your interest in the person and his or her culture, but also avoid clichés.
Even if you don't always understand each other, even if you don't understand how the other person works because from one culture to another it can be radically different, you have to keep in mind that the person in front of you is an individual, nothing more.
Think about what brings you together, don't spend your time pointing out your differences but rather look for your similarities if you want to create a relationship that will last over time. If you identify your points of understanding you will understand each other better. Don't try to change or convince the person, understand their points of view and accept them. Be clear in your expectations and respect the expectations of the other person to create a real relationship of trust.
Don't be afraid to let down your guard, if you used to see letting go as a sign of weakness think of it as a strength in another culture.
Trying a new culture will make you feel more confident afterwards, taste new cuisines, travel to the other side of the world, dress locally. It is possible to meet people who will teach you a lot without sacrificing what is dear to you.
Don't get preconceived ideas, sometimes we tend to think that it will never work for such and such a reason because we have examples etc... Don't forget that each person is different, therefore each relationship is different too, you never know what can happen to you. Try to think differently and more positively about all the reasons why it might work.
Here are some differences between countries to help you see more clearly with the person you are dating.
The American culture as far as dating is concerned is generally more relaxed than the others even if it depends on which part of the United States you are talking about because there are differences in the same way that the culture is not the same.
They usually meet in bars, clubs, on apps and don't often intend to get serious very quickly. Sharing the bill on first dates is more usual, it is also normal that women take the initiative for appointments because they are more open-minded. It is common for the word "love" to come up on the first date, but this is far from being a sign that the relationship is serious. It is difficult to know if the relationship tends to evolve into a serious relationship or if the person just enjoys your company for fun. Family influence and involvement at the beginning of the relationship is zero, public displays of affection are accepted and even trivialized.
Very liberated on the demonstrations of affections it is normal to kiss during the first appointments. Relationships proceed much faster and closeness is more than common, personal space is not necessarily a necessity. Unlike in the United States the relationship is very clearly official from the beginning.
The dating culture in the UK is very similar to that of the United States, they are not always official. Most first dates take place in a pub and usually involve drinking. First date sex is not uncommon but it is not normal either. Parental involvement in the dating life is also very low, even more so than in American families.
Arranged marriages are commonplace and modernity added to this are the dating applications specially designed for this purpose. They allow parents to find a partner for their children, on financial, religious, caste and caste bases it is also common to check the compatibility of young people with numerology. The first meeting with the parents often occurs on the wedding day, all is access on marriage and the culture has never envisaged occasional meetings.
In this culture the woman is at the centre, she must always be pampered and charmed even once married.
The word "date" does not exist and most first encounters are in groups, the French avoid conversation or the couple must "define" their relationship.
The simple fact of going on dates, of being affectionate with a person also means that one is committed to the person. If you are American, for example, and you are used to "dating" several people at the same time, you should know that in France this is not done and the person will not want to see you again if they find out.
In France, love is a serious thing.
If you wish to discuss your respective cultural differences you can visit our Studenz website in the section language exchange.
Written by: Lisa Lambert, Staff Writer
- Romance & Dating
- 3 Mar, 2020
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